What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

How do you feel cockroach?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Can the existence of past lives be proven without the use of hypnosis or a pendulum to inquire about previous incarnations?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Why cant school buses ditch kids who are late to the bus at the school? Like on the way home, if a kid is late when all the others arrived to the bus on time, why cant they leave the late kid behind since its not fair to the on time kids to wait?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

J.K. Rowling said that 65% of people in Britain are transgender. Where did she come up with that statistic?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Does the interpretation of the Book of בראשית create in all generations the Chosen Cohen People יש מאין?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

What are some life hacks for living on your own?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Why is there a "double standard" applied to sex between a dog and a human? Why is it that to many who are at least mildly okay with bestiality, a WOMAN having sex with a male dog is fine, but a guy with a female dog is not?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Did your siblings abuse you growing up? Not your parents, specifically your siblings, or other children in the household you were raised with.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

TEXT:

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

What are incels doing wrong?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

What was your biggest culture shock going to Europe?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.